Monthly Archives: January 2015

The Maddening Art Of Turning 30

Thought Catalog

Carmen JostCarmen Jost

I remember being 25 and lightly judging people who were stressed out about turning 30. “Age is a state of mind,” my naive mid-20s self would pompously declare while cradling a bottle of two buck chuck. I thought those almost-30-year-olds were bitter, jaded, that they’d somehow lost their zest for life, their belief that anything was possible. I’d tell myself, “I’m never going to end up like that. I’m never going to let anything hold me back from what I want! I have one life to achieve all my dreams and I’m not going to let anything get in my way!” Cocky. Self-assured. Untouched by life, for the most part.

I drank the millennial Kool-Aid for a while. I had that sort of brash naiveté that was infuriating to anyone even the slightest bit older than me. It’s hard to realize that—at 29 years old—you’ve become almost the…

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mystery songs from the past

I was browsing Reddit and came across this post from r/tipofmytongue.


I clicked on the first reply to check out the youtube video.


I thought “hmm this song sounds familiar. I might have liked this song back in the day.”

Then I clicked on one of the related video. A song called Beautiful Goodbye by Amanda Marshall.

I know this song!! I even know how some melody goes! But how come I don’t know when I liked and listened to this song so much? I don’t even remember where I discover this song the first time around. I don’t know the singer. Amanda Marshall is not a very popular singer. It’s like I have music amnesia or something. It bugs me until now. Ah well. I like it nonetheless. I like it when I rediscover things from my past.

Most normal period ever

My period for the month of January was the most normal period I’ve had since….ever.

Although I gained it with the help of my progesterone pills, I’m happy I got my period back. As I said it a post before. But the familiar feeling of discomfort crept in by the 2nd day. I started to remember why I hated periods. It was so freaking heavy! I needed longer pads. I was leaking. In Miri I had to go buy more pads as I was sure what I brought along wasn’t going to be enough. Thankfully there was a supermarket next to my hotel. By the 4th day afternoon it became lighter and I was so relieved. I was so cranky the night before. After I came back home from Kuching, it quickly faded away, and the day after that, it ended.

My period lasted 6 days. Just nice.

I feel strangely accomplished, haha. My menstruation was always irregular. I’m not used to this being so perfect.

I still hate periods, though. The heavy days are the worst.

I will just keep taking the pills for months to come. My doctor said to take it and try to lose weight so that my hormone levels can become stabilized.

5 flights in a week

I would like to tell you a story of how I got to fly 5 times in a week. That is seriously the most flight I’ve ever taken in such a short time frame.

Let me list down all the flights I’ve taken:

19th January –  KL to Miri

20th January – Miri to Kuching

21st January –  Kuching to KL

25th January – KL – Kota kinabalu

26th January – Kota Kinabalu – KL

All these are because I have to accompany my mom to those places because she has to present a training course for GST. She was coy about it, but I know that she wanted somebody to accompany her while she was there. Before this, she had a colleague to present the training together, but this time she will be teaching alone. So, being a good daughter, I reluctantly followed along.

It doesn’t help matters when I was there I was having heavy period. Just my luck, right. While I was in Miri and Kuching was the worst. The flight from Miri to Kuching was the worst. I was bleeding heavily, and my upper back mysteriously was in pain. It hurt when I swallow and whenever I took a deep breath.

The next day while in Kuching, my period had lightened a bit and I was able to relax for a bit. It was raining the whole day, so I just sit in my hotel room, reading and watching TV.

I  would actually just stay in the hotel room for Miri and Kuching. I was quite bored. But in Kota Kinabalu, I joined the training, because my mom said it would be interesting for me to learn about the GST that will be implemented in Malaysia in April. Shockingly it was quite fun! I met 2 clerks who knows me from when I was in IT Department. They were quite cheeky and fun. The class was energetic, and people were inquisitive and asked a lot of questions.

All in all, I was quite thankful for these trips, even though we couldn’t go sight seeing at all. I gained 3 new friends from Deloitte, who conducted the training with my mom. I got closer to finish the Survivor book by Chuck P. And enough airplane rides for me for the time being…

I might be returning

I must admit, I was ashamed that I hardly ever blog anymore. I have said it a hundred times before, here goes: I will blog regularly from now on. Yeahhhh right! I know I will fall off the wagon again down the line. But lets just start again…for new years sake.

I have actually scribbled down a list of things I have to write about while in GST class last this past monday. I feel like my writing skills are slowly drained out of my brain. It has been too long!!!!

So…See you in future post I guesssss!

finally got my period

–after close to six months without any menstruation, today I finally got my period. i couldn’t do it naturally, so this time I took my Duphaston pills. I was anxious because it took a long time to happen. I took 8 pills over the course of 8 days. The last pill i took was on 9 Jan. Today is the 18th. So it took about 8 days for dear Aunt Flo to come!

I never thought I’d be this happy to get a period. But it is such a relief to know that my uterus still works. I still hate bleeding though. It’s just reassuring to know I still function, albeit not perfectly.