80’s song I like

I think I might include a category of posts in which I show you the songs that I liked. Right now I especially LOVE 80’s music. This song is called This Must Be the Place by Talking Heads. I first heard this song while listening to iTunes 80’s radio stations. I think this was love at first listen! At first I didn’t know this song was from the band Talking Heads. I only knew one song from them and it’s called Psycho Killer. That song is weird and catchy. This one is so different! I didn’t think Talking Heads can write a love song like this: laid back and chilled yet romantic (not the cheesy kind). I really enjoy this song, and I hope you like it too!


eyes hurts

but i’m still up and reading my old blog. i used to be so good at writing! what happened nash? i really enjoy reading her entries and stories. also: nostalgia!

crush hurts

I didn’t want to write about this. But it’s bothering me since yesterday.

My crush, Michael Fassbender has a girlfriend. Has been since 2014! See this is why I avoid researching about him. Now I feel shitty finding out about this shit! I hate this feeling. It takes me back to when I was a teenager, finding out about Brian’s getting married. I was so heartbroken. I even had a novel plot of killing his wife and seducing him afterwards. Am I a psycho back then? Nevertheless, that is what I’m feeling now.

Now I’ll probably hate the girl he’s seeing. Her name is Alicia Vikander, and it kinda sounds indian. UGH I can’t believe he’s seeing her. Such bitch, she’s probably cuddling with Fassy right now. I’ve never seen her movies yet. All I know is she won an award for the movie The Danish Girl. She may be nice. But for now she’s a biatch.

God I sound like a teenybopper.

But who’s to say that Fassbender can’t belong to me someday, right?

(that is the most optimistic sentence you’ll ever see me write)

This night I surprised myself by going through my stuff to sort out things I don’t use anymore. Yes, I cleaned.

And I think the best part about this is the nostalgia I feel when looking through my old notes. Also old books that I’ve read. Also old CDs. And I found an old thumb drive.

I’m looking at the content of that thumb drive. Oh the feels! There’s stuff from my old job, my uni days, my music from that era, and also lots of eBooks that I’ve accumulated. I’m so happy.

I think I’m gonna sell those books that I’ve read. But my notes, CD and thumb drive, I’ll keep FOREVER.

oh yeah: I’ve come back from hiatus! gosh since Oct 2015!!!

Binge watching oitnb

Soo..i finished orange is the new black yesterday night! It took me 1 week a half to binge watch all 3 seasons of that show. I really like it. I enjoyed it so much. I especially love the characters’ back stories. This is by far the fastest i got through a show! Now I’m caught up, yay! Next season will be june of next year I think…

Now i think I officially ran out of things to watch…well not technically, cause there’s A LOT of shows out there. But yeah, nothing that I desperately wanna see and avoiding spoilers like a plague. I can safely say that i can accept any spoilers for other shows that I don’t care enough about. Yay no more headaches!

Edit: I’ve come to loathe the intro. Hahaha! I just skip ahead to 1:12 or so each episode. The song is still good though, just not during that intro…it’s too long! Just start the show already. #Ihatelongintros #Breakingbadintroisthebest

ear worm of the day (or week)

my ear worm of the day or this week is the theme song to the tv show Orange is the New Black. i absolutely love it now. i forgot what i think of it at first, i think at first i thought it was a little bit weird, but in a good way. then, i discovered it was by Regina Spektor, whom i used to like. then, i really like the song, hahah!

i finally started watching this show towards the end of last week. it has an interesting premise. i can finally see understand why people are raving about it! no wonder! but the show is not for the fainthearted. there’s a lot of titties…hahahaha! just watch it for the plot and keep an open mind. i really enjoy this show right now. it is currently my binge watch show, and i’m in season 2 already. i’m not quite sure what category/genre this show is, it can be funny at times, but at the same time it can be intense. check it out if you have time to spare, because if you are like me, i’m sure you’ll get hooked.

Banks is a Goddess

I’m not good at reviewing things. So, I’ll just write whatever I feel about this. My so called reviews are just that anyways:  my feelings towards something/someone. I like this person and her music. I’ve discovered her since last year or so. She had only released one song, and no albums yet. I loved her song called Brain so much back then. I thought that song is so sensual and raw. Then, as we music fans do, I sort of stpped listening to that song after some months. Then, I rediscovered her early this year, but I don’t pay attention to her album much. My brother did. He loved it for a little while, and I still wouldn’t listen to her album. Now my brother had stopped listening to her. Last month, I was searching for new music to listen to on spotify. And I decided to  check out her album and listen to it in its entirety. Then, the rest is history. I love it so much. I have been listening to it every night since. One night, I had a dream about one of the songs, while the song is playing in my earphones. It was weird. But I like it.

I know I should strive to be better for my own good. But I can’t help it. I wanna be her! I wanna slim down to be like her.

Her lyrics are simple. But what i like most about her music is her sense of rhythm and groove. a lot of them are atmospheric and dark and brooding, but the beats are the shits. they really get down! i love almost all her songs in the album, and i listen to the deluxe edition on Spotify. only about 3 songs i don’t really enjoy as much, and they are the slower ballads. i dunno, maybe it’s because they lacked the sick beats, hahaha.

I think i’m gonna start a category of blog posts whereby i write about artists whose albums i can listen and love every minute of. because this is rare for me, and even if i love the artist, i might not love the new album (for example, alt-j, lana, tori).

a wedding review hahaha

pardon my english on this post, i can’t english today.

2 days ago, on Saturday, i went to a wedding reception in Seremban with my mom. it was her cousin’s daughter’s wedding. i had to miss my class on that day. it turns out that their house is not too far and the route was kinda simple.

the food was nice. but sadly there was no nasi beriyani! they just served white rice, with negeri sembilan’s traditonal dishes. what i realized that i don’t like is the dishes was served on the tables. like old fashioned way. i prefer buffet style serving at weddings. simply because i want to have the freedom to take any amount that i want.

i think the most exciting thing that happened was i finally met my namesake. somebody who has the same name as mine. she’s the mother of the bride! now i think i can recognize her face. we rarely meet each other. our name is very rare, so you have to understand that this is a big deal for me. of course i cannot tell you what my full name is, it is rare and i think if you searched, i may be the only result!

other than that, this wedding is pretty lame for me anyways. this is because this part of my big family is kinda distant for me, and i only know the elders. other distant cousins might as well be just strangers to me. i could not even recognize them if i see them in public. and the worst feeling of uselessness came over me because all of the elders asked me the dreaded question of ‘what are you doing now’. i seriously hate that question, and this part of the family was so critical about it. keturunan raja2 lah katakan. they were used to good proper professions. so i feel like shits.

that’s all for the wedding.

next, on Sunday funday, i skipped class on purpose and told my teacher via whatsapp. went out of the house like i was going to class, but went to ioi city instead. i decided to watch a movie. damns, there were a lot of people! yeah, what do you expect on a sunday. but i never imagined it to be that bad. i guess every one in putrajaya went shopping, lol. needless to day, the line to purchase movie tickets were loooongnng. thankfully i was able to buy the ticket in time for the screening. although i was forced to take the expensive maxx atmos one. the movie i watched was The Martian. i enjoyed it very much! though one thing i hate was there were children in the theater. so i hated that it was PG13 haha. they censored the language too deliberately, and i’m quite annoyed at that. you know i like my unabashed swearing.

but all in all, it was a good movie. not overtly depressing, as i might have expected. also, this marks my first time watching a movie in a cinema without any popcorn and drink.

after the movie, i was so hungry and thirsty. you see, i didn’t have enough time to buy refreshments before the movie (i told you the lines were long!). so i bought some mcdonalds to go and rushed home in time. i had to make it seem to my parents that i had just got home from class. i think it was a success. i hid my mcd in my bag and rushed upstairs, pretending to wanna pee badly. and truthfully i did wanna pee!

that’s enough adventure for the weekend.

a weird vivid dream

Weird dream – most vivid ever, 16 Sept 2015

Like tori finally wanna come to Malaysia for a concert. My mom and brother joined me at this concert. I was like why? They just wanna see the babies which for some reason were in the record that we listened to the night before. The babies sounded cute. So they tagged along just for that. I remember being really nervous that they wouldn’t like the sound of tori, and they might suffer because of it. At the venue, which was kinda small and intimate, like the MPO, there were these babies, and they sat right in front of our row. Of course they loved them. I told them, one of them babies was natashya, tori’s daughter. But in real life, natashya is already 14 years old!

So then, tori started coming out on stage. The stage is very close to the audience. And she started singing Bells for Her and I was like “bells for her! I know this song!” lol. and i don’t even like that song in real life. It is strange that she didn’t have a piano with her and she was singing while walking around the room! And she was sing walking up the aisles like ellen degeneres danced in her show. And all the while, people were going crazy and starts gathering around her, taking pictures. Strangers got Into each other’s photos like they don’t care. I was anxious and didn’t want the moment to slip by. When she reached our row, I proceeded to gather with a bunch of strangers and posing for the group photo. I once looked the wrong way, and felt embarrassed and so corrected myself as fast as I could. Then, tori went on to another row, and I immediately posed besides her, because I wasn’t satisfied at the one before. I felt really happy, and tori was kinda short (which is true, nice effort, subconscious mind!) next to me. A crowd began to gather around us, and posing. But there was no one to take the photo! We began to panic, as seconds go by without anyone taking the picture. It felt like forever. Finally, a person emerged with a camera (I think it was a friend of one of the people who posed with me) but the camera just wouldn’t go off. We were like “is that it? Did you get it?” the flash never go out. So we separated from tori, feeling bad that we wasted her time like that. In the middle of her song, nonetheless!

The girl whose camera belongs too kinda flees the scene. I run after her, wanting to get the photo from her. I wanted to give her my email so that she could send the photo later. She was fast. I got the feeling that she was really embarrassed by her camera mishaps. I went on after her, and she went to a toilet/washroom. Once there, I called after her and looked everywhere but I can’t find her. The inside of the toilet looked dark and disgusting. It was like a maze! I could be lost in there. So I gave up, and walked back out of the maze toilet. I remember I stepped on some moistness on the ground and it felt sticky on my socks (yes, I walk around with just socks on, wtf) and felt disgusting.

I wandered around, suddenly uninterested in finishing my concert. I think maybe because I felt I was smelly and disgusting after leaving the bathroom. Mind you, this is tori we’re talking about, in real life, I would’ve just get in there as soon as possible so to not miss anything!

The second part of this dream was a bit muddy. I don’t remember much from now on. I just know that I found this guy on the street and he’s troubled. Then I remember us getting to a neighbor’s house and eating something. And the elderly woman asks him to wash his hands. And I think I like the guy, lol (always like this).

That’s all i remembered. i love dreaming.

my brother is merry, i am not

yeah, my little brother is in Newcastle right now. we sent him off on Wednesday night. i didn’t write about it because i am sad.

I feel depressed. Not because I miss my brother, but because it should have been me. If I had known it would be this easy, I would have pressed on. I should have persisted. Be bold.

Alas, I can’t turn back time. I really wish I could. It pains me to see my parents being nonchalant and supportive about him studying overseas. Why didn’t they be supportive when i was his age? and also, why was i too responsible? the whole “i don’t wanna burden my mom” and “i need to take care of them” CRAP! who do you think you are, Nash??? a martyr? if you had had your brother’s spirit back then, who knows what you do right now?!! a fucking successful person, i bet!

i can’t believe i’m crying while typing this. oh, this is more serious than i thought.

My mood right now.